Don’t go it alone

Posted on May 11, 2012 by caela

I’m amazed at how my absolutely busiest friends – the ones who have little bitty kids – are the ones who are always willing to help. When our second son was born a few months ago we had about 25 people bring us meals. All of them but one were friends who had little kids, just like us. How do these people find the time to do this? I guess because they’re in the trenches with us. They know what we’re going through. As one of my mom friends always says, “We are on this crazy train together.”

The longer I’m a mom (2+ years now) the more and more I realize just how much I need my mom friends. And I do mean, NEED. A few weeks ago I got really sick with mastitis and was knocked totally out of commission for two days. With a two year old and a two-month-old and no family nearby, we needed help – stat! All I had to do was mention to my mom friends on facebook that I was sick and offers to help came pouring in. Right away we had people offering to take our toddler for playdates and give us some respite. And, boy, did we need it!

I literally thank God every day for my community of mom friends. I can count about 20 women that I’ve met through BABS that I could call at any time of the day or night and ask for anything. And I could probably come up with 30 or 40 more that I would feel comfortable calling at a reasonable hour and asking for anything. My husband and I literally cannot imagine doing this parenting gig without these pillars of support.

Why do I love my mom friends? Let me count the ways.

They listen to me complain about my children and they listen to me ooze over my children – sometimes in the same breath.

They tell it to me straight. I remember when our older son was about a year old, I called a friend in tears late at night (well, it felt late, but it was probably 9pm because I was on mommy time) and she told me, “Look, you’re going crazy because you need to find some childcare. Call my kids’ school tomorrow and see if they have a spot.” And I did. And they did. And I got less crazy.

They’ve done stuff only other new parents would understand. Like bring us donor breastmilk at 8pm on a Saturday when it was our first day home from the hospital and we were crazy with worry for our son.

They’ve listened to my birth stories a hundred times and still pretend to be interested.

They’ve helped me manage one (and now two!) kids on playdates…at Wonderlab, the library, their homes, on hikes, in parking lots, all over the place. I always feel braver going someplace if I’m in a mama pack.

They’ve told me their hopes and dreams and fears and weaknesses. And they’ve heard mine. When you’re friends with people who’ve seen you change a poopy diaper on the floor, it gets real real fast.

This parenting stuff is real. It’s hard. It’s no picnic. And whether you’re new to the gig or you’ve done it for years, you need a community to support you. Where can you find it? I swear they’re not paying me to say this, but BABS is where it’s at.

If you’re pregnant, get those digits from a pregnant friend at yoga. One of my best mom friends and I met at yoga over two years ago, had dinner after yoga one night at the Olive Garden, and the rest is history! And if you’re a new mom, get yourself to a new moms group. Those women who know more about me than my own mom? Those are the women from my new moms group. Two years later and I still could go to them with ANYTHING. And if you don’t fit in those categories? Get yourself to playtime. You can always hit up baby or toddler playtime. Go week after week at the same time and you’ll start to know each other and each other’s stories. It doesn’t happen overnight, but it’s worth the time and effort to find those friends. Motherhood is a crazy ride – and it’s best taken with friends.

*************

What about you? What do you love about your mom friends? Where did you find them?

Posted in Parenthood, Postpartum, Uncategorized | Tagged , | 2 Comments

Free & Easy Ways to Improve Your Baby’s Health

Posted on May 9, 2012 by Joy

Written by Phaedra Pezzullo

Those of us that choose to have children all hope our babies will live healthy, long lives. I’ve been a mamma since the beginning of 2010 and am grateful for the support network I met through my BABS birth class and new mamma support group. In between wondering what karmic fate led me to a child who didn’t love to sleep as much as me, I have tried to help my baby live a healthy life without becoming overwhelmed. For me, parenting is a humbling balancing act in which one has to try one’s best knowing that one can never be perfect.

I think we should imagine toxic pollution the same way: do what we can to reduce our children’s toxicity without letting it overwhelm us. I mean, what’s the point to protecting life if life is no fun?

Plus, our babies are born with toxic pollution already in them. Recent studies in the US of umbilical cords showed evidence over 200 toxics. So, a “toxic free” environment is not possible for our children. Yet, the unprecedented amount of exposure our kids have also means we still should try to reduce what exposures that we can (at least) in the first five years of life, because pollution impacts smaller bodies more than bigger ones and those years are crucial for setting up the rest of our children’s development. And, by definition, “toxics” are things that can kill us.

So, here’s a top 10 list of FREE and EASY things we can do to reduce our children’s exposure to toxics. I’m sure most of us do most of these already; so, I hope this helps you feel better about your odds of acting like a toxic-savvy parent:

1. Open your windows when possible and make sure to bring your baby outside everyday. Indoor air pollution is more serious than outdoor air pollution.

2. Don’t use pesticides in your house or on your property. Try to avoid properties that use them (that’s why they have signs that warn us).

3. When your child is still lying, rolling, or crawling on the floor, take off your shoes when you are in the area they are hanging out in. Our shoes can carry toxics in from outside. Relatedly, try to sweep, mop, and/or vacuum at least once a week when your children are small. Toxics can be carried on dust.

4. Clean your home with cheaper, nontoxic ingredients, like vinegar, baking soda, and lemon juice.

5. Drink out of glass or metal, not plastic cups or bottles. (Yes, I bought filters for my tap water, but we can talk about that in another post because that costs money.)

6. Avoid eating high mercury fish if you are pregnant, nursing, or feeding one or more small children. (If you don’t know what those are, the Natural Resources Defense Council’s list is often cited: http://www.nrdc.org/health/effects/mercury/guide.asp )

7. If you smoke cigarettes, quit. Try to avoid letting your children be in the presence of people smoking. (And, yes, I’ve had that awkward conversation with my mother-in-law more than once.)

8. Don’t buy or use air fresheners or other unnecessary products with ingredients you can’t pronounce.

9. Use iodized salt every once in awhile. I know, kosher and sea salts appear sexier these days, but iodine can buffer your thyroid against toxics.

10. Write your legislators to support the Safer Chemicals Act so that individual parents aren’t faced with navigating all this on our own. The Safer Chemicals, Healthy Families coalition advocates for this legislation and describes itself as a range of people including: “nurses, moms, learning disability advocates, small business owners, reproductive health advocates, [and] cancer survivors.” Check them out: http://www.saferchemicals.org/safe-chemicals-
act/index.html

For links to similar lists and more details about each of these choices, see one of the following three sites:
http://www.ewg.org/files/ewg-hht-checkilist.pdf
http://www.healthychild.org/5steps/5_steps_1/
http://www.webmd.com/health-ehome-9/how-to-make-your-house-safer

Now that the easy part is done, what do you want to know more about: more Bloomington-specific information? Or what stuff to choose or to avoid when thinking of your baby registry? Or why expecting or new parents should care about specific toxic exposures (pesticides, BPA, phthalates, parabens, PVC, et cetera)? Or geeky historical stuff on women’s wombs as our “first environment” as a concept introduced at the beginning of the 20th century? Or…?

If no one asks about anything, I won’t blog here again about toxics. I was asked by a regular BABS blogger who thought some of you might be interested; however, there are a lot of resources out there these days on this topic, so maybe we don’t need to share these tips/ideas here…

Phaedra has lived in Bloomington since 2002 and gave birth in January 2010. She also is an Associate Professor at Indiana University-Bloomington who does research on a lot of things, including on the environmental justice movement, the environmental health movement, and reproductive justice advocacy.
Posted in Education, Green Products & Ideas, Health, Information and services | Tagged , , | 4 Comments

Meet A Doula Series: Meet Hanna Caywood

Posted on May 7, 2012 by Joy

Watching a woman as she moves through the stages of labor…changing from a woman into a mother…is beautiful and amazing…to see the power and strength she contains.

I think of all the women that have given birth before me, over thousands of years, everything that has happened and changed…and yet this process is one thing that has not. Well, maybe in how we often see labor and birth handled and how choices are often taken from women.

Hi. My name is Hanna Caywood; I’m the mother of four (sons), a mother by heart to four more, a labor/birth doula, & a new chicken farmer (for eggs). All my life, one thing I’ve always wanted was to be a mother. When I got my first chance I was uninformed about what to expect in labor/birth or hospital procedures. I knew a little more with my second, but still felt powerless. Though my first two births ended with two beautiful healthy babies, there were so many ‘bad’ feelings left within me. I had my last two at home with a midwife and her assistant. These stories are completely different; in how I felt & how I was treated. I’m not saying one has to have a homebirth to have a good experience; a woman needs to be where she feels safe, for me that was in my home. What I learned from my homebirths was what a difference it made to have someone there who understands how childbirth naturally unfolds and who wasn’t responsible for the care of anybody but me & my baby. This made me want to help women. To help them have the knowledge they need going into labor, their voice when in labor, and their memories after birth. So I became a doula & have worked with many couples since my training in September of 2010.

One thing I think is helpful when I am working with a “momma” (as I call them) is that I have been there…I have experienced many different things from my own births that aren’t always things you can learn in a class. Like how it feels to be watched, poked & prodded, and to know the weight your decisions have on two lives…to not always feel like you have any control or enough information (among other things). As a doula a huge part of my role is to provide informational support. I also provide continuous emotional and physical support through one’s labor & birth. The relationship that makes this work better is forged prenatally when I meet with a momma (and partner) at least a couple of times. This time is used for us to get to know each other, so I can learn what she/they want to happen, roles for those that will be at the birth, comfort measures we can use, and for any questions or concerns to be addressed. We can also work on birth, baby, and postpartum plans so you can walk into the hospital with something physical stating your desires.

A birth isn’t just the act of bringing a child into the world, it changes a women forever…..the people she is surrounded with, the events that take place, and her strength will remain in her mind and soul…..it determines how she sees herself and the world around her.

If you have any questions regarding doulas or the services provided, please let me know. Thank you for stopping by.

Yours Truly,
Hanna

p.s. a misconception is that a doula replaces the father/partner. In reality, we help the partner find ways to help the mother that they are comfortable with. We want them to be a part of this experience.

Hanna Caywood
812-606-8770
hoosier.doula@hotmail.com
www.hannacaywood.webs.com
www.indianabirthdoulas.com

The Meet A Doula Series on The BABS Blog is an opportunity for local families to learn a little more about local doulas.  All local doulas are invited to participate in the series.  Appearance on The BABS Blog does not necessarily constitute a recommendation by BABS.  BABS encourages families to interview potential doulas and choose one with the training, experience, and personality that will be the best fit for their situation.

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Healthy Teeth Before the First Year

Posted on May 4, 2012 by Joy

Imagine growing up without ever having a cavity.  It is now possible for children to reach adulthood cavity free with the early guidance of preventative dental care.   The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) and the American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry (AAPD) recommend a “Dental Home” for children by one year of age.  Children who have a dental home receive the timely and appropriate care needed to set the foundation for a lifetime of exceptional dental health.

The importance of a mother’s nutrition before the baby is born.  An unborn child’s teeth begin to form by the second month of pregnancy and start to harden by the second trimester.  It is crucial for mom to have a balanced diet to promote the proper development of a child’s teeth.  A balanced diet consists of providing adequate amounts of vitamins A, C, D, protein, calcium and phosphorus to aid in the development of healthy teeth.  Inadequate nutrition of a pregnant mother can result in improperly formed tooth enamel.  Weak enamel may contribute to a child having an increased risk for cavities.

Healthy teeth & gums in mom lead to healthy teeth & gums in children.  Bacteria that cause tooth decay can be transmitted from a mother to her child.  It is important to have mom’s teeth decay free before birth of her child.  During pregnancy there will likely be hormone fluctuations that may contribute to the desire for mom to snack more frequently.  Frequent snacking can contribute to the increased accumulation of dental plaque.  Bacteria in dental plaque produce acid that weakens the enamel of teeth.  Brushing twice a day and flossing once a day needs to receive increased emphasis during pregnancy to reduce the risk of cavities forming.

Hormone fluctuations and plaque that is not removed can irritate the gums.  A condition called gingivitis may result and is characterized by red, tender gums that bleed easily.  Untreated gingivitis can lead to a more serious condition called periodontitis.  Poor periodontal health can contribute to premature delivery and low birth weight of children.  It is important for mothers to practice outstanding oral hygiene and to see a dentist regularly throughout pregnancy.

What is a pediatric dentist?  A pediatric dentist has an extra two or three years of specialized training after dental school working with infants, children, teenagers, and patients with special health care needs.  A pediatric dentist is best qualified to assist with guiding children into adulthood with optimal dental health.

 

The eruption of a child’s first teeth.  At birth a child already has their first 20 teeth in their jawbones.  The teeth normally begin to erupt around 6 months of age and all 20 primary teeth are often fully erupted by the age of three.  Primary (Baby) teeth are important for three main reasons:

1)       Chewing and eating to provide proper nutrition for growth

2)       Provide space for the permanent teeth to erupt in correct positions

3)      Aid in the normal development of jaw bones and muscles

When teething some children may experience sore or tender gums.  Rubbing a washcloth or clean finger over the gums can be soothing for children.  Contrary to popular belief, fever is not associated with erupting teeth.  If a child would develop a high or persistent fever while teething it is important to follow-up with their pediatrician.

My next blog post will discuss oral hygiene for your child and what to expect at the first dental visit.  Please contact our office with any questions and for your free infant dental kit.  We are located in Bloomington near the College Mall, next to Goodwill.

-Dr. Matt

Matthew L. Rasche, DDS, MSD, Southern Indiana Pediatric Dentistry, www.SiPediatricDentistry.com, (812) 333-KIDS

Posted in Education, Health, Information and services, Nutrition, Uncategorized | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Yoga Works its Magic on Toddlers Too

Posted on May 2, 2012 by Joy
Written by Samantha King

Yoga is medicine. As a teacher, I know this, but didn’t realize what medicine it is for toddlers too. After my Toddler & Me classes, we all seem to shine a little bit more. The toddlers are definitely giddy. But not candy high giddy. It is a yoga high giddy. Yes, even toddlers can get a yoga buzz.

Those toddlers love that yoga energy created within the circle of yoga mats. They love hearing the adults sing and move together as one. The older ones love trying the poses; the younger ones riding on those good vibes.

Shene and daughter Chiwa
photo by Steph Langan, IDS

When we are done, the toddlers usually seem more centered and balanced within themselves. We may not even hold poses for very long, and some of them may not try any poses. But even still, they seem more at peace with life and ready with positive minds for their next adventure.

Actually, it is the toddlers that are in their natural environment.  They are just being themselves in the moment. The bonus is their parent/care giver is also with them in the moment, connecting, and being. That is the yoga. 

And because we are all there, having fun and open to being silly and free for that little window of time, its like the yoga works its magic. The yoga transports both toddler and adult out of regular space and time, and into a magical place of singing, moving and just being together.

I didn’t fully comprehend the impact of my class until talking to one mom and her daughter after one quite large class. As I observed her sweet 17 month-old daughter with love flowing from my heart, she told me they were visiting from out of state so their daughter could have brain surgery. They had been away from home for weeks. And there it was, how could I of missed it? Her shaved head had a very long scar tracing the back of her skull.

The love I felt changed instantly to compassion for a family who was going through so much. Images of hospital waiting rooms full of grim faces, sickness, and bad vibes flooded me. I couldn’t imagine being surrounded by all that for weeks upon weeks, and living through the anxiety of having a child in such risky surgery.

From one mom to another, I could feel her true appreciation for that little window of time we shared to shake off the past, and arrive joyfully in the present moment. 

This is the moment I decided to never take yoga for granted. And reminded me that as the teacher, I have no way of knowing what obstacles parents and children are facing in there lives. I just provide them with the medicine – yoga.

At the end of my classes, we sing, “This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine,” eventually transitioning to, “this little child of mine, I am going to let her/him shine.” But I love when we end with singing, “You are My Sunshine,” because our little ones are our sunshines and it is a sweet simple song to remind us that they “make me happy, when skies are gray.”

Parenting in tough. Whether it is something as serious as brain surgery, or simply getting through the long daily grind of being a parent. It’s hard not to get bogged down by all the rain. Going to classes like Toddler & Me Yoga help parents (and me!) remember that the most important job as parents is to just love our children and be with them as much as possible, fully present in body and mind.

Toddler &  Me yoga
Photo by Steph Langan, IDS

Read more about Samantha’s struggles to serve her family, stay sane, and honor a yogi-inspired lifestyle at http://thedomesticyogi.blogspot.com

Samantha will be teaching two-week session of Toddler & Me Yoga in May (the 4th and 11th). Summer classes will be announced soon. Prior enrollment is recommended to make sure the minimum number of participants is reached. To register please stop by or call the BABS office at (812) 337-8121.
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